If you asked me to describe my Father to a stranger in just a few words, I would have to say he was devoted, generous to a fault (except to himself), deeply loving and intensely proud. This combination of qualities made him unforgettable to just about everyone who knew him.

But words alone cannot sum up my Father's life, but the connection my Father had with my Mother is a sum of his life. She was the connective tissue that permeated his world. They both taught me so much about love and devotion, particularly the love they shared together. They were together for 39 wonderful years and were a true team. They were actually more like the coaching staff to me.
Dad did incredible things for Mom when her health brought changes to their lives but one thing never changed. As long as Dad was there, Mom was satisfied and Dad was always there. Now when Dad's health brought changes to his life, I was there. I made a promise to take care of him and I kept that promise. It was truly an honor to care for him.

My Father brought me up from infant into adulthood and set an example for me that I can look up to for the rest of my life. He supported me in all my endeavors, no matter how numerous these were. He taught me about the value of a dollar and how to get even more out of it with double and what used to be triple coupons. He taught me about the stock market and how to find the best interest rates. He was a numbers man all the way until the end.

Of the many gifts that Dad gave me, sharing the last moments of his life were among the most precious. The last moments took away his ability to talk. But it still did not take away his spirit. As I held his hand I told him it was ok, it was ok, go to Mom. He opened his eyes, saw I was there and took his last breaths. He was set free.

I mentioned in the past to many of you how my Mother has watched over me in the last 7 years. I can truly say without conviction that my Mother was watching over Dad that day. I wanted to share an experience with you that happened that fateful afternoon when Dad was called upon to join Mom. There was this very large flying insect that had parked itself on top of the doorway over the bathroom which faces the doorway to his bedroom. I had in passing mentioned how this could be Mom watching over him. I didn't think too much of it at the time but I managed to catch it and set it free outside. Later that day I had noticed that this insect came back into the house and was flying around once again. I was going to catch it again but didn't and let it fly around the house until the next day. The next morning I found the insect at the foot of Dad's bed depleted of life. I was now convinced that indeed that WAS Mom watching over him until he was completely safe in her arms once again.

I do take solace in the fact that they are together once more. They were meant to be together forever. I am well aware that both of them will continue to watch over me and I certainly won't be so quick to set that insect free. I think I'll just let it hang out a little longer.

A Father's influence on his daughter gets taken for granted. Many things that he taught have such an early origin in my life that I don't realize, or give credit for the fabric he has woven into my life. He was my first teacher and my best. His lessons were always consistent and his love unwavering even though sometimes it was hard to differentiate it from criticism. He only wanted the best for me. And I am so grateful for the grace of my special Dad.

Dad's love for Mom and I did not end there. He was close to his sister Natalie and to all his nieces and nephews. While he was a quite man when it came to feelings, you could always seem to find it in his voice how much he loved. He always had a different way of showing that he cared. For some it was that quick 30 second "How are you?...Good…ok talk to you tomorrow" in the mornings or the fact that he gave you Frosted Flakes when you visited. And it just doesn't end there. All of you here today are living proof of this. "Friends are the family we make for ourselves." Friends were especially important to him. Whether he saw them socially or it was just a minute to exchange coupons, you all were an integral part of his life. He was able to lead a richer life because of you. And I thank you all for that.

We will all miss my Dad's presence, we will miss hearing his voice and seeing that occasional smile, but we will always have his love. He left footprints on our hearts and we will deeply miss him.

There is one thing I'd like to leave you with and that is "Memories are a gift from God that death cannot take away." While my father may not be on this earth, the memories you have of him will always be a part of your lives.

1. Intro
First off I'd like to thank you all for coming today.
We are here, giving honor to the body that housed my father's soul.
The loss is forever, but the psychological, emotional and spiritual healing that takes place at every stage is necessary and healthy.
This stage of the process, the Hakamat Matzeivah, meaning raising up the stone, or unveiling is why we are assembled here today.
We never say goodbye to him when he departs from this world.
We only say rest in peace and may your memory forever be a blessing.

All that lives, lives forever.  Only the shell, the perishable, passes away.
The spirit is without end...Eternal...Deathless...

2. Personal Dedication
I would like to speak now directly to my father's spirit as I can feel his presence on this day.

I think of you as watching from a time and space beyond the sky.
It is in that place where there is only love and no shadows fall,
You have touched my very being...I shall always remember you.

Sometimes I hear you crying from the ground.
I woke up this morning to an empty sky.
At night in dreams I see your sould rise.

(singing to Elton John's Candle in the Wind)
May you ever grow in my heart.
You were the grace that I was blessed with.
Now you belong to heaven and the stars spell out your name.

And it seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind.
Never fading with the sunset when the rain set in.
And your footsteps will always fall here
On my heart and you are deeply missed.
Your candle's burned out long before your legend ever will.

Loveliness I've lost, these empty days without your smile.
This torch I'll always carry for you my father from your child.
And even though we try, the truth brings us to tears.
All my words cannot express the joy you brought me through the years.

Goodbye my father, from a daughter lost without your soul.
Who'll miss the wings of your compassion, more than you will ever know.

(Singing to Tears in Heaven-Eric Clapton)
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure
And I know there be no more…
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Cause I know I don't belong
here in heaven

(singing to Bette Midler's Wind Beneath My Wings)
Did you ever know that you're my hero
You're everything I wish I could be.
I can fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.

I pray you can see me now and be proud of what I have become.
Your wisdom and love will remain with me always.
I'm so proud to be your daughter.

Till we meet again someday at heaven's gate, know you will always be remmebered.

3. Address to All
There are stars whose light reaches the earth
Only after they themselves have disintegrated and are no more.
And there are people whose scintillating memory
lights the world after they have passed from it.
These lights which shine in the darkest night
Are those which illuminate for us the path.

Prayer For those Not with us
As we stand here, full of pride and love,
Our hearts and thoughts recall dad not with us.
And yet, he is so much a part of us and our lives, that it is not hard to feel his presence.
The laugh of one recalls for us the joy of another.
A chain of memory and blood binds us to the other.
Thru the years and thru the generations,
And now, with a full heart, we pause and proudly add to that chain.

I would like to revert back to a poem I discovered last year that most of you have either heard or read, but it just bears repeating...I'm Free (poem previously mentioned on this page)

4. Guests speaking

5. Before unveiling stone
The Hebrew word for stone is tzur. This word is also used to refer to God. At this time we remind ourselves that God is our rock, our strength, and support. He is our one constant, always there to comfort us at our darkest times.

A stone is also symbolic of eternity, like the cornerstone of a building, placed to last for all time. And what is eternal about our loved ones? It is their lasting qualities that we can still rely upon. Our loved ones live on because they affected us on the deepest of levels.
We erect stones and remember what they erected in their lifetimes--their deeds, their character. They will never be forgotten.
        And this is why dad's tablet is made of GRANITE
Just as the stone lasts forever, so too does his soul live forever.

6. Unveiling -- Remove cloth and Read stone's inscription

In memory of my father, we establish and consecrate this monument.
It is a token of our deep love and respect.
He is remembered now, and forever, part of the good in each of us.
May his soul be bound in the bonds of life.

7. 23rd Psalm

8. Mourner's Kaddish

9. Before Leaving
I'd like you all to place a stone on his grave.
1) It is a sign to others who come to the grave when I am not there that they and I are not the only ones who remember. The stones I see on the grave when I come are a reminder to me that others have come to visit the grave. My dad is remembered by many others and her life continues to have an impact on others, even if I do not see him.
2) When I pick up the stone it sends a message to me. I can still touch and be touched by him. I can still feel the impact that has been made on my life. His life, love, teachings, values, and morals still make an impression on me. When I put the stone down, it is a reminder to me that I can no longer take her with me physically. I can only take her with me in my heart and my mind, and the actions I do because she taught me to do them. Her values, morals, ideals live on and continue to impress me - just as the stone has made an impression on my hands - so too his life has made an impression on me that continues.