If you asked me to describe my mother to a stranger in just a few words, I would have to say that she was wonderfully nurturing, generous to a fault, deeply loving and intensely proud. This combination of qualities made her unforgettable to just about everyone who knew her.
     But words alone cannot sum up my Mom's life, but our family is a sum of her life.
My mother taught me so much about love, particularly the love she shared with my father. They were together for 39 wonderful years and were a true team.
I want to thank Dad for all he has done. Mom's health brought changes to their lives but one thing never changed. As long as Dad was there, Mom was satisfied.
And Dad was always there.
He kept her feeling safe. Mom loved Dad and Dad loved Mom. Dad thanks for taking care of her.
     Like I said, mom and dad were a team. I'm so honored that I was placed with this wonderful team. My Mother brought me up from infant into adulthood and set an example for me that I can look up to for the rest of my life. She supported me in all my endeavors, no matter how numerous these were.
     Of the many gifts that my mom gave me, sharing the last moments of her life and death were among the most precious. The last moments took away her ability to talk. But it still did not take away her spirit. As I held her hand and as I said "I Love You", mom listened, moved her head and mouthed " I Lov…, and she was gone.
     But this wasn't the last time I'd be graced by her spirit. That same evening of her death I had a dream. I dreamt I was walking into my old room and she was following behind me. I turned around and said Oh My God, a ghost! But she was real and alive, she knocked me over. In talking with my cousin, she pointed out to me that it means that she will continue to bump into me. And you know, I think she was right. Her spirit will always be there for me. And she will continue to watch over me.
     A mother's influence on her child gets taken for granted. Many things she taught have such an early origin in my life that I don't realize, or give her credit for the fabric she has woven into my life. She was my first teacher and my best. Her lessons were always consistent and her love unwavering. She only wanted the best for me. And I am so grateful for the grace of my special mom.

     But her love of family did not just end with her immediate family. All of you here today are living proof of this. "Friends are the family we make for ourselves." Her friends were especially important to her. Whether she saw them socially or just had a talk on the phone, you all were an integral part of her life. She was able to lead a richer life because of you. And I thank you all for that.
     We will all miss my Mom's presence, we will miss her voice and her smile, but we will always have her love. She left footprints on our hearts and we will deeply miss her.
There is one thing I'd like to leave you with and that is that "Memories are a gift from God that death cannot take away." While my mother may not be on this earth, the memories you have of her will always be a part of your lives.

1. Intro
First off I'd like to thank you all for coming today.
We are here, giving honor to the body that housed mom's soul.
The loss is forever, but the psychological, emotional and spiritual healing that takes place at every stage is necessary and healthy.
This stage of the process, the Hakamat Matzeivah, meaning raising up the stone, or unveiling is why we are assembled here today.
We never say goodbye to her when she departs from this world.
We only say rest in peace and may your memory forever be a blessing.

All that lives, lives forever.  Only the shell, the perishable, passes away.
The spirit is without end...Eternal...Deathless...

2. Personal Dedication
I would like to speak now directly to mom's spirit as I can feel her presence on this day.

Sometimes I hear you crying from the ground.
I woke up this morning to an empty sky.
At night in dreams I see your sould rise.

(singing to Elton John's Candle in the Wind)
May you ever grow in my heart.
You were the grace that I was blessed with.
Now you belong to heaven and the stars spell out your name.

And it seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind.
Never fading with the sunset when the rain set in.
And your footsteps will always fall here
On my heart and you are deeply missed.
Your candle's burned out long before your legend ever will.

Loveliness I've lost, these empty days without your smile.
This torch I'll always carry for you my momma from your child.
And even though we try, the truth brings us to tears.
All my words cannot express the joy you brought me through the years.

Goodbye my momma, from a daughter lost without your soul.
Who'll miss the wings of your compassion, more than you will ever know.

(singing to Bette Midler's Wind Beneath My Wings)
Did you ever know that you're my hero
You're everything I wish I could be.
I can fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.

I think of you everyday and try to continue to be someone you would be proud of.
Your wisdom and love will remain with me always.
I'm so proud to be your daughter.

Till we meet again someday at heaven's gate, know you are dearly loved and missed.

3. Address to All
There are stars whose light reaches the earth
Only after they themselves have disintegrated and are no more.
And there are people whose scintillating memory
lights the world after they have passed from it.
These lights which shine in the darkest night
Are those which illuminate for us the path.

Prayer For those Not with us
As we stand here, full of pride and love,
Our hearts and thoughts recall mom not with us.
And yet, she is so much a part of us and our lives, that it is not hard to feel her persent.
The laugh of one recalls for us the joy of another.
A chain of memory and blood binds us to the other.
Thru the years and thru the generations,
And now, with a full heart, we pause and proudly add to that chain.

I would like to revert back to a poem I discovered last year that most of you have either heard or read, but it just bears repeating...I'm Free (poem previously mentioned on this page)

4. Guests speaking

5. Before unveiling stone
The Hebrew word for stone is tzur. This word is also used to refer to God. At this time we remind ourselves that God is our rock, our strength, and support. He is our one constant, always there to comfort us at our darkest times.

A stone is also symbolic of eternity, like the cornerstone of a building, placed to last for all time. And what is eternal about our loved ones? It is their lasting qualities that we can still rely upon. Our loved ones live on because they affected us on the deepest of levels.
We erect stones and remember what they erected in their lifetimes--their deeds, their character. They will never be forgotten.
        And this is why mom's tablet is made of GRANITE
Just as the stone lasts forever, so too does her soul live forever.

6. Unveiling -- Remove cloth and Read stone's inscription

In memory of my mother, we establish and consecrate this monument.
It is a token of our deep love and respect.
She is remembered now, and forever, part of the good in each of us.
May her soul be bound in the bonds of life.

7. 23rd Psalm

8. Mourner's Kaddish

9. Before Leaving
I'd like you all to place a stone on her grave.
1) It is a sign to others who come to the grave when I am not there that they and I are not the only ones who remember. The stones I see on the grave when I come are a reminder to me that others ave come to visit the grave. My mom is remembered by many others and her life continues to have an impact on others, even if I do not see her.
2) When I pick up the stone it sends a message to me. I can still touch and be touched by her. I can still feel the impact that has been made on my life. Her life, love, teachings, values, and morals still make an impression on me. When I put the stone down, it is a reminder to me that I can no longer take her with me physically. I can only take her with me in my heart and my mind, and the actions I do because she taught me to do them. Her values, morals, ideals live on and continue to impress me - just as the stone has made an impression on my hands - so too her life has made an impression on me that continues.