Me and my Birthmother Karen
Do You See Any Resemblance??
So you ask why this story is so unique? Read on my friend and you will see...
Born October 20, 1969 as Julie Ann Levine is what I knew for most of my life,
that is until April 16, 1997.
I was just a five weeks old when I was adopted
by two loving parents, Lillian
and Louis. I was told at a very young age that I was adopted. Probably
just about 4 or 5 years old. I didn't even know what the word meant.
It was explained to me in a very loving way to mean that I wasn't unwanted,
but loved more than can be imaginable. Being told at such a young
age was the best that anyone can do. Believe me when I say this because
this truely is the key in this delicate matter. I went on throughout
life with no animosity towards either my birth parents or adoptive parents.
Now of course there are times when things get sticky
during times when kids and parents are mad...meaning I said one time "I
want my real mommy" not realizing the effect that those words had ultimately
meant. Of course I never meant to hurt anyone but you can see the
result of that. I never said those words again.
Now I'm sure you've heard of many adoptees who
search for their birthparents. While I may have been a little curious
about it, it was never a crucial issue. So subsequently I never looked. I
did call the agency from where I was adopted one time, purely to ask a medical
question. They had asked me if I was interested in a reunion, but it just
didn't seem like the right time even though I was age 21. My main
question more than anything was what were the circumstances...not a burning
question that made it so I couldn't live without knowing. Figured
one day it might come up again when all the circumstances were right.
Well I guess someone up above felt that the time
had come because the following part of the story is the unique part...
So in 1994 I got on the internet.
Thanks to my favorite band REO Speedwagon...that's a tangent story in
and of itself. Basically I found out through a newsletter that the
lead singer mailed out, that they had a message board on AOL. I had a
modem sitting in a box for two months and wham-o when I found this out...that
modem was instantly plugged in and I was introduced to the world of cyberspace!!
Never in a million years did I ever believe that the net
would be something that would change my life in an instant. So this is
how it went. I had been on the net for some time and had gotten very comfortable
there. So much so that I was using IRC (Internet Relay Chat). This
is where I happened to run across a "channel" for adoption. This
wasn't something that was planned, I was just cruising around looking for people
to talk to that had something in common. It had never really occured
to me to use the net to search for my birthparents. I got to know
many of these people and they were like a support group, it was really neat!! Many
of them encouraged me to search, but it just didn't feel right. (Special
thanks goes out to Anna, Al, Sue, "Mad", Debbie "Mouse",
Matt, Edie, John, "Web's Mom", the rest of the #adoption gang and
in Loving Memory of Scott.) I continued to talk with these people for quite
some time and then "It" happened. What is "It" you
are asking?
I knew being on the net there were tons of resources
for searching, but again like I said, it just wasn't an issue until it just
kinda slapped me in the face. I am a subscriber to Yahoo! Internet
Life (the printed publication). They ran a story on a boy who found his
birthmother on the internet. And in this story they listed several
resources. Well one of these was was a free mutual consent registry
which is now located at www.reunionregistry.org. Just
out of some bizarre curiousity I went there. I did a search and found
a listing for a birthmother looking for a daughter born 10/20/69 in Los Angeles. I
thought to myself...this could be me!!!!! I was in such shock that
I didn't even fill out the registration right away. I spoke with
my friends in the adoption channel. They all said go for it!!! I
spoke with my adoptive mom about this and she was very supportive. She
even helped me fill in the blanks on the registration. Low and behold
I received a call the very next morning from the coordinator of the list confirming
our match!!!! I was totally floored. I had no idea what
to think. All I kept saying all day was it's her!!! it's her!!!! Well
anyway I was to receive a call from my birthmother that evening. You can
imagine how long that day was. I was on the net all day practically
talking to as many people as I could in anticipation. Imagine going from one
ordinary day to the next with a key that unlocks the door which behind it is
the mystery of your life. Just the possibility to now know what you never knew
before was so fascinating, even though the mysteries didn't have to be solved.
It just sparked so much curiousity that is never ending now.
But alas I have found a missing link that holds
the knowledge of the other half of the puzzle. One day the other half
of the puzzle will be found. I hope (I say with a tear in my eye.)
Me and my Birthmother Karen
Do You See Any Resemblance??